Mental Health

Love and Stress - Signs Stress is Affecting Your Relationship and How To Remedy It

It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it

Stress – it is our body is natural reaction to most things in life. In a way a healthy amount of stress is good; however, what if the stress grows and becomes something out of control? Then what?

I would like to believe I am fairly stress-free – I understand that there are a few (maybe a lot of things) that are just beyond my control; therefore, it is better to let life be and take things as they come. While I may believe this, sometimes actions and emotions speak louder and when you are in a relationship, the result of feeling stress can have a negative and irreplaceable impact on the dynamics.

It is important that when you feel stressed, you consider the impact it can have on your relationship – as sometimes while you may be attempting to cope with the stress in your life, it can actually be pushing away your partner and hurting your relationship.

Communication or rather lack of. In the early stages of your relationship the communication was on-point. You guys talked, shared your feelings, your thoughts but now, things are going downhill. At the end of the work day you find yourself isolating your thoughts and giving one-word responses. Why? Stress has the ability to affect ones ability to listen but to also think rationally – and sometimes, things said in the heat of the moment can’t be taken back.

Emotionally unavailable, no partner or spouse wants to feel or know that their significant other is emotionally unavailable and yet stress has the ability to shut off all emotions. For some the only emotion that is felt is anger, frustration and despair. Being overly stressed can result in one not being able to feel anything other than negativity. No matter how hard one may try to cheer up the other person, an over-stressed individual will find such efforts admirable yet they don’t know what to do with it.

Micromanaging – no one likes a boss that micromanages them; therefore, no one likes a partner who micromanages and yet for some who experience stress, micromanaging is something they do. Why? When a person experiences high amounts of stress, it is typically a result of them feeling they have lost control or have no control. From work to friends, when a person is stressed they look to find a way to regain some balance and control and for them they see it in micromanaging. What does this look like? It can be as simple as nit-picking the small things that they use to not care about, being overly sensitive if not dramatic when plans fall through – these over the top emotional states are a result of them not being able to have the stability they are accustomed to so they try to have it on their own life.

Isolation and recluse, one saying that I have always kept in the back of my mind is: no man is an island and unfortunately, when you experience stress you become an island – a very isolated and recluse island. Sometimes the demands of life, work and everything in between can be overwhelming that the only solution for some is isolation. A stressed individual will avoid being around people, and unfortunately that means the spouse. Though they don’t mean to do so, it is their mental and physical reaction to what they are experiencing.

Doom everywhere, the unfortunate reality for someone who experiences high amount of stress is that they also often experience depression. In a way this makes the situation of experiencing stress that much more difficult and for the partner that much more harder to deal with. You could show them that the sky is blue, that there is a rainbow out and world peace has been achieved and unfortunately in their eyes, all they see is doom. They see failure, hopelessness and feel pain.

Solution? How do you, as a friend, a partner, a husband or wife or even the one experiencing stress try to ensure that stress doesn’t ruin your relationship?

Plan and Prioritize one of the ways to avoid and prevent being overstressed is planning and prioritizing. Having a plan can help reduce stress from happening but more importantly being proactive with the things you can and have control of. From determining your work schedule and the stress from work, to balancing home life responsibilities, having a plan between yourself and even your partner and those around you will help ensure that stress is kept to a minimal normal.

Communicate while though it can be hard when stress can make the other be less talkative, offering verbal reassurance and support can go a long way. While they may not react instantly, as someone who has experienced stressed and has found myself being less talkative, knowing my wife was supportive of me meant a lot. A few kind words can go a long way.

Realign yourself through meditation, yoga or a walk in the park. Being stressed means all the things you enjoy are no longer pleasurable; therefore, when stressed, sometimes the best thing is to force yourself to stop, drop and do your passion. Is it easy? No. Will it solve everything and make the stress disappear? No – but it is a start to managing it.

Stress is normal but it can quickly escalate to a point that makes it unbearable; therefore, being proactive to manage the stressors of life is helpful not just for your own mental health but your relationship as well.

“It’s a good idea always to do something relaxing prior to making an important decision in your life” Paulo Coelho






Merylee Sevilla

Merylee Sevilla

Jane of all trades - traveller, blogger and foodist. I write on experiences from my travels, experiences and friends. I am inspired by all that surrounds me and am constantly learning. As a gaysian (patent pending) I also write about my experiences coming out, the relief that comes from allowing myself to truly be.